Houseguest eats everything in friend's pantry, wife refuses to let him stay again: 'He finished two jars of jam, a jar of peanut butter, a giant Costco bottle of olive oil, condiments, rice, snacks, cheese, even my husband’s supplements'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Sep 30, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

There are certain rules of etiquette by which one must abide. It's not so simple, because there is no universal handbook for these situations. There is just a codified set of rules that you have to intuitively pick up over the course of your life. Maybe your parents teach them to you, or maybe you just collect them over the course of your life. Either way, it's important that you follow them, lest you never be invited to anyone's house ever again. 

One of the biggest rules is to leave everything how you found it, if not a little better. You bring a host gift that your generous benefactors can enjoy, and you try not to take anything. Maybe they've invited you to partake in some of their snacks or drinks, and that's not impolite to take advantage of. But you don't take more than your share. You certainly don't empty out the whole entire pantry. Because that would be stealing, right? Apparently not to the man in this story, who saw an opportunity for free food and took it immediately. 

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  • A houseguest prepares a loaf of bread in a kitchen.
    via Unsplash+ (Natalia Blauth)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • When her husband's friend asked to stay with them, this woman couldn't imagine what was in store. After he seemed to be nice enough, something switched when his hosts left town. They returned to an empty house and very little explanation of what had happened. Read on to see what happened in the story. 

  • Am I wrong for not wanting our friend to ever come back to our house after he ate literally everything we owned?

    My husband and I live abroad. Earlier this year, a mutual acquaintance (let's call him "K") reached out saying he'd been scammed with an apartment rental and had nowhere to stay. At first, we only offered a weekend, but he was polite, helped around the house, and seemed grateful, so we ended up letting him stay the full 20 days he'd asked for.
    via u/Capable_Candy6712
  • During that time, some things rubbed us the wrong way. He never bought groceries, and multiple times he pretended he was going to pay but "forgot his wallet" or claimed he could only use Apple Pay (not accepted at our local supermarket). He'd eat way more than his share (once my husband and I shared half a pizza and he ate the other pizza and a half without contributing). Still, we felt bad for him, so we let it go.
    via u/Capable_Candy6712
  • We stayed friendly, and a few months later we were planning a 17-day trip. Since he was struggling with rent, we offered him to stay at our place in exchange for taking care of our dog. I even wrote a Google Doc with instructions for the house, dog care, gym access, etc. I told him he could eat anything that was going to expire (fruit, veggies, yogurt, etc.).
    via u/Capable_Candy6712
  • When we came back... EVERYTHING was gone. And I mean everything. The entire fridge, freezer, pantry. He finished two jars of jam, a jar of peanut butter, a giant Costco bottle of olive oil, condiments, rice, snacks, cheese, even my husband's supplements (creatine, protein, collagen). He
    via u/Capable_Candy6712
  • completely destroyed a ceramic pan. He consumed things that usually last us six months in just 2 weeks. I honestly suspect he might have taken stuff with him because it's insane how much was missing.
    via u/Capable_Candy6712
  • I didn't confront him except to ask him to replace the pan, which he mocked me about ("it's just a pan, why are you making it a big deal?"). I felt deeply disrespected. Now he keeps texting me, acting like nothing happened, and wants to hang out. I told my husband I don't want him in our home ever again. My husband says I'm being too harsh, and if he wants to stay friends, that's his choice, but I feel completely taken advantage of and disrespected.
    via u/Capable_Candy6712
  • So... AITA for not wanting to see this guy ever again and refusing to let him come back to our house?
    via u/Capable_Candy6712
  • A man in a red shirt eats cereal while talking on the phone in a kitchen.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters agreed that this was egregious behavior.

    SmoochNo. 11h ago He didn't consume it all in that time, he emptied your place and took it back to his to last him a while. He stole from you like he was on a shopping spree.
    via u/SmoochNo
  • Inside_Major_80... 10h ago NTA CHANGE THE LOCKS!!! He gets wind from your husband you have an over night stay elsewhere he will be restocking again (he made a duplicate).
    via u/Inside_Major_80
  • Tell husband put on his big boy pants and smell the coffee. Mooch-Boy does NOT come in the door anymore. He can stay friends but hubby goes to his place. Time for cameras and door camera.
    via u/Inside_Major_80
  • OptimistPrime527 • 10h ago NTA this guy robbed you. Unless he was running bf a mukbang, there's no way he could eat that much. He crossed a boundary when you were trying to help. Your hubby needs to stand up for you, you're supposed to be a unit and you're justifiably upset.
    via u/OptimistPrime527
  • Decent_Front4647 · 10h ago He's not a friend. I'd bet he took the stuff in the cupboards, so he's a thief as well. NTA
    via u/Decent_Front4647
  • Cappa_Cail 10h ago NTA this person is not your friend and your husband needs to rethink anyone who mocks his wife over something that person destroyed.
    via u/Cappa_Cail
  • This "friend" has little to no respect for either of you. If your husband wants to lessen himself by continuing this one-sided friendship with this guy - it's on him. However, you do not let anyone who treated your home the way he did back in again. You can decide if you'll reconsider this if this guy apologizes, but he's not allowed to be in your home alone again.
    via u/Cappa_Cail
  • SigSauerPower320 10h ago NTA That dude was 100% taking your stuff somewhere else. All I can think is that he's stocking up for his future home????...... I don't see any other way a person could go through an entire bottle of olive oil in just two weeks..... Not unless this guy is
    via u/SigSauerPower320
  • dumping a 1/2 cup of oil into every single meal. Couple that with the "it's just a pan, it's no big deal" sh.... Yeah, that's not a friend. I like the fact that you put your foot down and also didn't make your SO choose. You've said "You're welcome to be friends with him and
    via u/SigSauerPower320
  • you're welcome to spend time with him.... Just not in OUR house". You have every right to ban a person you don't feel comfortable with in your home.
    via u/SigSauerPower320
  • JenCanary 10h ago There's no excuse for literally eating everything in your house, ruining your pan, and then acting like nothing's wrong. You were trying to do him a favor and he took advantage. He sounds like a scammer. Makes me wonder
    via u/JenCanary
  • if he ever had a place to stay in the first place or if that was his scam to get free lodgings. I mean, I'm pretty sure that is what happened. He lied to you upfront, got a free full 20 day stay where he barely paid for anything, and then ate you out of house and home and ruined your stuff on his second scam stay. NTA
    via u/JenCanary
  • Grymflyk⚫ 10h ago NTA. Why can't your husband put two and two together and figure out that the guy stole all your food. After that he still wants to be the guys friend. Tell him he is welcome to stay friends with the guy but not to ever bring him into your home again. BTW, your hubby seems to care more about his friend than he does about your feelings, not sayin' but, that ain't right. It may be time to upgrade.
    via u/Grymflyk
  • unta... • • 10h ago Edited 10h ago DUDE. Send him a replacement pan link. Link him to the pan n price he destroyed and its worth and be ask him if he's able to pay for it this week or by this weekend.
    via u/untakentakenusername
  • Dont ask him "if he can" or "when he can". Dictate the terms. N if he says "whys this a big deal" go off. Heck it's YOUR pan and your mutual friend. He's friends with u BOTH. U have every right to voice your opinion n feelings. Id respond with something like "lol it's a big deal
    via u/untakentakenusername
  • because i loved that pan and you disrespectfully destroyed it. I didn't ask you to restock OUR ENTIRE PANTRY that you demolished. I'm only asking you to replace this one item as I like using it to cook. You can either send me the cash or buy it and drop it off with the reciept this weekend, or help us restock things like rice and supplements, the ceramides, collagen etc. I have a list. Let me know which you'd rather help pay for . X"
    via u/untakentakenusername
  • Your husband n him can remain friends but you are ABSOLUTELY entitled to fight with him separately or voice an issue because he's a friend to you both and well, either way u are 2 different people. Just because ur hudband wants to stay nice doesnt mean u need to bite your tongue.
    via u/untakentakenusername
  • This person has more than just audacity. And yeah id never invite him for dinner again. If i would, id also say "hey :) we are low on cash this week so can u send us x amount n then we'll order in"
    via u/untakentakenusername
  • People like him will always find a loophole. We had family friends who would always trick my dad n mom into treating both our families to an expensive place to eat. Stop the loopholes now while u can. They're just leeching.
    via u/untakentakenusername
  • Just because he has rent problems doesnt entitle him to free stuff or to take your kindness for granted. He would never return the favours you're doing for him on your rainy days, don't forget that. Not that that matters. This is about ur kindness being taken for granted this time around. but definitely address it. Stop bad habits the first time around, not the 2nd or 3rd. NTA.
    via u/untakentakenusername
  • A_Shiny_Vaporeon ⚫ 11h ago . NTA. You graciously helped someone out in a time of need and they abused the privilege. I would have an open and honest convo with your husband about this friend, this is not what a friend should do.
    via u/A_Shiny_Vaporeon
  • . Ornery_Old_Dude 10h ago The guy stole from you, took everything to his house and abused your trust. If you ever let him back into your house you will be the AH. If you cut him out of your life and never let him in your house again, it's understandable and you won't be the AH. Stand firm with your husband on this.
    via u/Ornery_Old_Dude
  • DegeneratesInc. 10h ago I missed why your husband is so keen to be friends with this leech? NTA. Kicking the parasite out permanently would be a rather sensible move.
    via u/DegeneratesInc
  • Sassy Millie 10h ago NTA. He stole your food. Nobody consumes a giant bottle of olive oil in 2 weeks or takes other people's supplements. I use creatine and a container of that lasts a month or more. He ate everything he could and stashed the rest. He's the AH and I wouldn't allow him over ever again. What a mooch.
    via u/SassyMillie
  • • Previous_Rip_9351 10h ago NOPE. NTA. Block him and never have anything to do with this parasite. I bet he never had accommodation sorted. He never intended on paying his way. He always intended grifting off you. Block Block block....
    via u/Previous_Rip_9351
  • IHave BoxerDogs • 9h ago "I honestly suspect he might have taken stuff with him because it's insane how much was missing." Of course he did. Come on. How is this real? He cost you hundreds of dollars if not more. YTA to yourself for letting him stay alone in your house after he showed you how he treated it while you were there.
    via u/IHaveBoxerDogs

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